Jivana's Memoirs 49

The truth is, I had known all week what needed to be done and I definitely knew it the night that I went to dance at the bass cave but I had been paralyzed by doubt.  The dancing burned through my fears. It made me clear.  Crystal clear.

“We have to send a message” I said.

“That’s it? That’s all you …” Zephr started by Zoe cut her off with the wave of her hand.  

“Let her finish Zeph”.  I could tell that Zephr wanted to say something back like “how do you know she was finished”, but something made her hold it in, although I could see it wrestling in her jaw.

I breathed in deeply, my breath filling me up with courage.

“We take to the streets.  We align with street gangs, and we start tagging for change”.

Zephr’s mouth dropped.  Zoe looked curious.

“What?! That sounds absolutely ri-dic-u-lous!”

“Sister!  Hold on...  Okay Jivana, what do you mean street gangs?”

“Well we basically need to create anti-campaigns.  We are inundated with messaging from cues. They haunt us daily. Well ...they are haunting me.  I've suddenly realized they are absolutely everywhere.  No one asked for that.  People are disturbed by graffiti, well I am way more disturbed by the cues".

"Are you kidding me?" said Zephr "You are like Cue-master".


“Redemption Zeph" and she Zoe continued speaking to me with big eyes "Wow girl, that is quite powerful.  Is that what you were experiencing this past week?  That’s heavy.  No wonder you hermitized”.

Zephr strangely kept quiet.

“Now J, you know that there are street artists that are not affiliated with gangs right?”

A little embarrassed I had to admit to Zoe that I did not.

"So are you saying it might make it easier if we just worked with them initially?"

She picked up on a certain strain I had in my face.

"Or not … I don’t know, maybe we should try to work with gangs too.  They have been marginalized by the system”.

"Exactly!" I exclaimed.  It's so refreshing when someone gets you and all your crazy ideas.

“Whoa whoa” Zephr finally decided to chime in, “let’s keep it simple huh?  I mean how would you even motivate them?"

I simply said "Money".

"That sounds f'ing dangerous".

"Well" I said "we have to sell them on the idea of course too.  It won't be  just  about money".

"Well what IS the sell Jivana?"

“Maybe we should get everyone in the same room first Zeph” said Zoe turning to her sister with concern.

“No, no --I want to hear it now”.

“Well it needs to be crafted.  We should stop partying for a few weeks.  First we will figure out the pitch. We can do that in one meeting. Ultimately we will have to the streets at night. I say we tag bus stops, easy to reach billboards, sides of buildings that have other cues on them.  We can even … plant seeds”.

“What do you mean plant seeds?” asked Zoe intently

“I’ve seen it in my mind where...” I could see myself almost look off to the right as I  accessed my thoughts, my vision “we are taking uglier parts of town and making them beautiful. They should look on par with the Confines. You know the street islands, sidewalks, and curbs. Clean them up. But instead of just making them pretty..." I felt fumbly on my words. "...we could plant real seeds- gardens.  Food.  Feed the people with something tangible, with knowledge, with hope".  

Now Zephr looked at me with big eyes.  Her face remained hard, but her eyes and a deep inhale into her expanding chest exposed her "I like where this is going actually.  Maybe you do have some value”.

“Oh Zephr” Zoe rolled her eyes at her sister playfully.

“We do need to talk to the group”

“I figured as much”.

“So besides that, because I know they will be into it, what next?” Zephr crinkled her nose as she stood up.

“We just need to create a really tight strategy.  We need to corral as many people as possible.  We need to do this simultaneoulsy in different parts of the city for the most impact.  That's why I actually thought we should try to ... make a bridge with the gangs?” I felt like it was necessary but it did sound a little crazy even to me.

“What about cost, J?” Zoe said sweetly with a little bit of concern.

“I’ll cover it”

“J, that could be a lot of money.  Paint’s not cheap” Zoe with even more concern.

"Paint?! What about employing gangs?!" said Zephr

“I’ve already thought it all out and it’s something I think I can, and I definitely want to do."

"Girl ... I like how this sounds but how will this help us?"

"Well I guess the idea is that if we make things beautiful we will make people love us.  If they love us they will protect us.  We won't be some obscure minority group that no one cares about".

"Girl. I don't know ... I mean we're not even taking credit for this it seems? How does that help us?"

"I know, I don't have all the answers yet.  I see it.  It seems clear and just talking about it out loud it seems a little different.  Not thought out.  I'm confident we will figure it out together though".

I could tell Zephr wanted to believe me.  Her heart had softened with hope but her forehead proved she did not do botox, it betrayed her with what looked like beyond concern - she was fearful. But truthfully, so was I.