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Jivana's Memoirs 31“Tell me what you’ve been wanting to tell me. It’s obvious to me now that somehow this has all been some elaborate set up to get me here to listen to what you have to say? “
Mykey chimed in.
“Well I wouldn’t say it was an elaborate set up. I had no idea that I would run into you that day. It just became obvious to us that you should be part of us when we saw you dance at the club. Your energy … it’s good energy girl. We need more of that”.
Maybe I looked like I wanted to run out of the building because Zoe reached out her arm as if she were both pleading and thinking she needed to grab me.
“Wait. It’s difficult to explain … all at once … but girl we are trying. Just give us a chance”.
“Look, I’m here. I don’t really know where I am anyway. Where would I go? Even if I knew … look. You have my attention.
Jivana's Memoirs: 30“Just tell her”.
“We just have to tell her”.
“Wait!” yelled Zoe who jumped out of her stool. “First this!”
She swiveled me around to face her and she lifted my right hand, holding it with her left. Our hands were palm to palm as she looked deeply into my eyes as everyone watched.
“Just remember as we go through this tonight, that this is what it is all about”. And she began.
She instructed me through her eyes and her hand movements as we made the first symbol with our index and middle finger like an inverted triangle as she said “Peace”. Then our hands made half c’s to make a heart symbol together as she said “Love”. She clasped my hand and our fingers rested on each others knuckles in a fist as she said “Unity”. Finally with her eyes which had never wavered, she said “Respect” and she gave me a piece of her kandi. It had predominan
As Above, so WithinMy internal place
Dark like space
A Light it grows
Expands and flows
And becomes like the sun
One tear... dearly spent. (Act-I)
I see their faces, they, the unloved ones, dry eyes, no smiles, just a stark and desperate gaze, bereaved of care, hope, love.
Each little face gazing bleakly on through the fractured glass of a picture frame, but not at me...
I lay it down, gently. For I'll find no comfort in it, only remnant shards of a forgotten memory, one soon to pass with me long into the halls of eternity.
This the equal sum of all my years. One just memory, fare earned, bought at a fair price, one of ill deeds and a blackened soul.
I feel pain, for myself, for this world, for the last time. Also fear, so real to me now, that he, this dark loathsome one, would leave me behind.
Unwanted as unworthy, to remain here, a fool in purgatory.
The cold now grips me as if embraced by it, just as a mother would an inconsolable child.
I look into the deepest dark, and ask him. "What is Hell like?" He took no notice, and ask me for the time.
But his question went unanswered, for the
PetrichorI walk without an errand for the mind.
I must be homeless.
Neighboring enclaves separate our spaces,
belie their builders’ mirthless exhaustion.
Not even necessity can be blamed
for these mud-struck, brittle gourds,
these quick nests of vasculous organs
pulsing with their peculiar tyrannies,
briefly scuttling from their hovels
like sun refugees
darting into gleaming storefronts
waffled in concrete misery
all to forestall the end of their souls.
Where can we go when we only want to breathe?
Sitting in a park bench,
trillion-visioned, crowned with galaxies,
I can rest my weary invention.
I sense the weight of an unseen player,
a secret stratagem
as she moves her piece into the glade.
I’m set in place, yet unopposed.
Uncombined with lovers, children,
the slow parade of trees and heat,
I lay beside these stalwarts,
at once, still and hurtling
throughout the travesty of time.
I assemble a cumulus intelligence
near the playground,
threatening Summer with three days
EnchantedA golden apple tang
Heralds summer's brightest fire
But I prefer to amble in
In the darkest corners
There are no haunted whispers
And only caramel shadows
Transfer daylight's memories
For unto me the stars
Snapping leaves leading moonlight
Are not my coldest lonely hour
But a renewal of soul
Desperate for YouDay by day
Block by block
Tree by tree
Tear by tear
Day by day
Trials and temptation at my door
As the grass grows in the world
My soul being put to the test
Day by day
Every hour and every second
Realizes that I am desperate for the Lord
For the Lord to hold me from falling
Lord, I'm desperate for You
My heart tears and wears from a lack of Your wisdom
I thirst and hunger for You
Lord, You hear my cries and You know that I am desperate for more of You
Lord, You are the only who fills my lungs with air
Lord, You are the only that speaks words into my mouth
Lord, You are the only one that makes my heart beat louder than drums
I'm desperate for more of You; Lord, I'm desperate for You
Teach me Lord to worship You with all that I am on my knees
To depend on You and have Your way in every part of my life
Lord, I am desperate for more of Your love
Lord, I am desperate for more of You in my life
You are the only one that will last forever
You are the only one that will love forever
You are t
RefugePlaces to go and places to see
Places to see and places to leave
Places that only last for a moment
Places that lasts for eternity
Places are hard to find now
Everything is stamped and yet hard to find
Hard to get in and hard to adapt
Try your best to fit in; join the crowd
Nothing but places for the world to blossom
Bars, clubs, and even cafes; need I go on?
Places to pay just to stay a moment
Places that calls themselves refuges
Places to just get away from all the chaos
All the chaos and imbalance of this world
Broken homes, broken dreams, broken hopes
A place just to get away from it all, all for your soul
Places that make you try hard to fit in
Places that have people armed to the teeth
Outsiders were never really welcomed here
Biting, clawing, and tearing down piece by piece
Need I go on? These places are not refuges
These places are chaotic as a broken home
Need I go on? I have all day
I know of a place; a place of true refuge
Down the road and past some trees
Every Thursday nig
hauras (fragments)English version below
kastepisara kielon luomessa
peitteesi lehden suojassa
heräsit unestamme aamuun
in a dream,
a dewdrop on a petal
in the shadow of your leaves
you awoke from our dream
a new morning
your tears and i to mist;
yesterday to oblivion.
Soul of fire;
Yet always the same.
Shall I write to thee
On this hot summer day,
While I wait for the paint to dry?
Who so many fear and loathe
To the very last day that they live.
Who so effortlessly stole my heart
Before I knew I had one to give.
Parent of monsters;
A term so subjective,
As you and I know
So very well.
Shall you smile again
In the face of adversity,
And every wound and weakness belie?
As you do,
By telling naught but truth.
As you must,
To frail sensitivities soothe.
You are not,
Though you'll pretend to it
You can be,
Upon no terms but your own,
Free and untameable spirit;
You belong to none
Yet, for better or worse,
To any and everyone else.
Damaris: Foreign GodWhat is this message that you bring,
what is this "good news" that you preach?
Who is this strange God from afar -
and what should it matter to me?
We are Greeks - we have our gods,
more gods than you.
What's a foreign god to me?
Your story's nice -
but what's it to me?
But you say
was always there,
even when I did not see Him.
has always cared
for all the world
even though we did not know it -
for this God
is the creator
and all mankind is his -
is the sustainer,
who provides for all that is.
This is no foreign God
but the one true God of all -
and that's why it matters to me.
is the one who made me.
is the one who knew me
before I even knew myself.
cares not only for one people -
for all the peoples on earth are His.
In Him we live,
in Him we move,
in Him we have our being -
is the true God
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