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Jivana's Memoirs 31“Tell me what you’ve been wanting to tell me. It’s obvious to me now that somehow this has all been some elaborate set up to get me here to listen to what you have to say? “
Mykey chimed in.
“Well I wouldn’t say it was an elaborate set up. I had no idea that I would run into you that day. It just became obvious to us that you should be part of us when we saw you dance at the club. Your energy … it’s good energy girl. We need more of that”.
Maybe I looked like I wanted to run out of the building because Zoe reached out her arm as if she were both pleading and thinking she needed to grab me.
“Wait. It’s difficult to explain … all at once … but girl we are trying. Just give us a chance”.
“Look, I’m here. I don’t really know where I am anyway. Where would I go? Even if I knew … look. You have my attention.
Jivana's Memoirs: 30“Just tell her”.
“We just have to tell her”.
“Wait!” yelled Zoe who jumped out of her stool. “First this!”
She swiveled me around to face her and she lifted my right hand, holding it with her left. Our hands were palm to palm as she looked deeply into my eyes as everyone watched.
“Just remember as we go through this tonight, that this is what it is all about”. And she began.
She instructed me through her eyes and her hand movements as we made the first symbol with our index and middle finger like an inverted triangle as she said “Peace”. Then our hands made half c’s to make a heart symbol together as she said “Love”. She clasped my hand and our fingers rested on each others knuckles in a fist as she said “Unity”. Finally with her eyes which had never wavered, she said “Respect” and she gave me a piece of her kandi. It had predominan
As Above, so WithinMy internal place
Dark like space
A Light it grows
Expands and flows
And becomes like the sun
One tear... dearly spent. (Act-I)
I see their faces, they, the unloved ones, dry eyes, no smiles, just a stark and desperate gaze, bereaved of care, hope, love.
Each little face gazing bleakly on through the fractured glass of a picture frame, but not at me...
I lay it down, gently. For I'll find no comfort in it, only remnant shards of a forgotten memory, one soon to pass with me long into the halls of eternity.
This the equal sum of all my years. One just memory, fare earned, bought at a fair price, one of ill deeds and a blackened soul.
I feel pain, for myself, for this world, for the last time. Also fear, so real to me now, that he, this dark loathsome one, would leave me behind.
Unwanted as unworthy, to remain here, a fool in purgatory.
The cold now grips me as if embraced by it, just as a mother would an inconsolable child.
I look into the deepest dark, and ask him. "What is Hell like?" He took no notice, and ask me for the time.
But his question went unanswered, for the
PetrichorI walk without an errand for the mind.
I must be homeless.
Neighboring enclaves separate our spaces,
belie their builders’ mirthless exhaustion.
Not even necessity can be blamed
for these mud-struck, brittle gourds,
these quick nests of vasculous organs
pulsing with their peculiar tyrannies,
briefly scuttling from their hovels
like sun refugees
darting into gleaming storefronts
waffled in concrete misery
all to forestall the end of their souls.
Where can we go when we only want to breathe?
Sitting in a park bench,
trillion-visioned, crowned with galaxies,
I can rest my weary invention.
I sense the weight of an unseen player,
a secret stratagem
as she moves her piece into the glade.
I’m set in place, yet unopposed.
Uncombined with lovers, children,
the slow parade of trees and heat,
I lay beside these stalwarts,
at once, still and hurtling
throughout the travesty of time.
I assemble a cumulus intelligence
near the playground,
threatening Summer with three days
She could have lived til 90Words spill so quickly from her lips
Wrapping around her pale throat like an intricate necklace
And as she rapidly-elegantly spits them- they squeeze her neck
At least no blood is being wasted as the words burn into her skin…
And she can’t breathe for a while now
While the magic is finishing up- taking some of her life as payment.
EnchantedA golden apple tang
Heralds summer's brightest fire
But I prefer to amble in
In the darkest corners
There are no haunted whispers
And only caramel shadows
Transfer daylight's memories
For unto me the stars
Snapping leaves leading moonlight
Are not my coldest lonely hour
But a renewal of soul
at lasti am terrified of death
the epithelia have been pierced
and eyelids rolled back
and i feel you.
two boys left crouching in an empty dressing room
after a scouring cold shower
face to face in opposing corners
RefugePlaces to go and places to see
Places to see and places to leave
Places that only last for a moment
Places that lasts for eternity
Places are hard to find now
Everything is stamped and yet hard to find
Hard to get in and hard to adapt
Try your best to fit in; join the crowd
Nothing but places for the world to blossom
Bars, clubs, and even cafes; need I go on?
Places to pay just to stay a moment
Places that calls themselves refuges
Places to just get away from all the chaos
All the chaos and imbalance of this world
Broken homes, broken dreams, broken hopes
A place just to get away from it all, all for your soul
Places that make you try hard to fit in
Places that have people armed to the teeth
Outsiders were never really welcomed here
Biting, clawing, and tearing down piece by piece
Need I go on? These places are not refuges
These places are chaotic as a broken home
Need I go on? I have all day
I know of a place; a place of true refuge
Down the road and past some trees
Every Thursday nig
Damaris: Foreign GodWhat is this message that you bring,
what is this "good news" that you preach?
Who is this strange God from afar -
and what should it matter to me?
We are Greeks - we have our gods,
more gods than you.
What's a foreign god to me?
Your story's nice -
but what's it to me?
But you say
was always there,
even when I did not see Him.
has always cared
for all the world
even though we did not know it -
for this God
is the creator
and all mankind is his -
is the sustainer,
who provides for all that is.
This is no foreign God
but the one true God of all -
and that's why it matters to me.
is the one who made me.
is the one who knew me
before I even knew myself.
cares not only for one people -
for all the peoples on earth are His.
In Him we live,
in Him we move,
in Him we have our being -
is the true God
Sweet JoyAll alone
Huddling in a prison cell
Made by self rejection
Afraid of what the world holds
Curled into a tight ball
Silently waiting for change
Light walks in
Stands her on her feet
"Let me romance you"
Takes her gently by the hand
Into the arms of Love
They waltz together
Creating a valley of peace
Beloved once again
Touching Hopethe sea roars
our oil rig rave
we dance between oceans,
primordial and cosmic;
both taunting us.
dance harder -
pour more sweat and soul
into those dreams
into those visions
into your future
made in love and protest.
instigated by lasers
i am shot into the sky
trance-ported by an electric eruption
i linger lightly in atmospheric suspension
connected to galactic essence and
a web of patterned light beams
i see my fellow ravers dance below me,
as my head is a geyser of light
kaskading falling surrounding creating
a vortex illuminating our party;
illuminating our deed.
what is this? …
as i hover in the sound field of manifestation-
ah! my hard work tonight has paid off.
i am touching hope.
[transmissions of a dead girl]i am the
moon: i am
the silver pill
to weigh down
into leaden eyes--
i am the
of the dark.
the stars are
all dead in their
you'll be safe, dear,
as i am the moon,
with all of your
(i am good bye and yet,
you think only of romantic
i am the moon.
i am the crescent
and dead altogether,
i still die.
All Here For A ReasonI turned onto a shady, well-manicured driveway that, for all intents and purposes, looked harmless enough. Maple trees lined both sides of the street, and a parade of Canadian geese marched across the road to a wide duck pond with a flamboyant fountain. There were blooming crepe myrtles and rose-of-sharons, and as I grew closer to my destination, neatly trimmed gardens with neatly trimmed bushes.
I stopped to let the geese pass. They looked at me; one hissed. I honked my horn and moved around them.
At the end of the road sat a collection of grayish buildings and a number of signs directing me to the appropriate parking lot. "Welcome to Ten Creeks Hospital," said one of them. "Please enjoy your stay." I parked in the visitor's lot. Surely I wouldn't be staying.
I was shaking when I got out of my car. I had spent the morning getting high. One foot in front of the other, flip-flop noises, hot sidewalk. Mulberry and magnolia trees, freshly shaved grass. A bench and pan for smokers. A set o
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