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Jivana's Memoris: 41“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed it’s the only thing that ever has.”
To believe in what they believed. Did I believe it though? I had to.
As foreign as it might have seemed to me, they were right. I had been broken free. I was bare in a new domain. If I had issues dealing, it was just that the sensation was new on my skin, a little raw. I’d have to acclimate but no matter what, there was no going back. I was surprised at how I was dealing with it all actually. I am sure I was in a state of shock. Shocked and shocked again. What resilient systems we have.
I pulled over to fill up on gas and give my mind a rest. As I pumped, my skirt flirted up in a passing breeze, and my thoughts, just briefly, were replaced by a feeling of coolness on my skin. As I pulled out, I noticed the fading and dilapidated "Gas" sign, painted in pe
Jivana's Memoris: 40As I drove, that first 40 minutes or so, the sky seemed to have a golden cast that seemed to match my mood. I drove on the long, straight, two-lane highway with shrubs like green and brown polka dots covering the great expanses on either side of me. Highway poppies ate my dust and a wildly blowing flag in the distance seemed static next to the immensity of this timeless landscape. Flags, why did we always have to stake our claim? Would we ever really change?
And why did I think it looked timeless here? Because it always changes from the constant resurfacing of the wind ... yes and that is why they were not worried about track marks maybe.
I thought of Hope, some etheric being as she was described to me.
“Granted we see the shadow people too” joked Wolife. He had been passing by Zoe and I as she was describing Hope to me.
“What are the shadow people?” I asked.
“Oh, you haven’t seen them yet” said Zoe softly, with big eyes
Jivana's Memoirs: 39Pulling out with my car I heard the crunchy sound of dirt on tires. Looking in my rear view mirror, a cloud of dust masked the already well camouflaged lair.
Hazy memories of the films and the happenings fogged my mind. Concentration was not an option. Instead, I felt compelled to just allow myself to watch all the different thoughts, like projections on my fog, fade in and out. Finally, it struck me I popped my head above the clouds and I knew what we had to do. Well, sort of …
All I really knew is, I had to do something. I had the power to do something. I couldn’t wait for them to tell me what to do because I’m not sure they knew themselves. That was clear. They just kept telling me they knew they needed me but never once for what. Everyone has their own part to play and mine was at very least to figure out what mine was.
Everything in the new world was about marketing. I had to do something with marketing … Mark
Jivana's Memoirs: 37“Let’s get you some coconut water. You’re probably dehydrated” said Zoe.
“I was mostly dry heaving” I said
“Um, yeah well I think I still have something to clean up” she joked back with me.
“Regardless, we should all replenish our electrolytes. Lovely idea Zoe” said Paris.
The girls escorted me back into the debrief room. It’s like the room carried a strong and swirling essence still, or perhaps it was just the memories of what had just happened, that made me want to fall over. They brought me to the bar, got me on a stool, so I could at least sit upright but prop myself up on something.
Zephr was in the room with her back up against the wall and one knee up. The timeless tough girl stance. And she was so comfortable with panty shots I just found it remarkable, although I said nothing.
Without anyone asking she said “It’s a Kombucha”
Zoe smiled and then I saw her look
Jivana's Memoirs: 38My eyes popped open. I don’t remember dreaming anything but when I woke I felt refreshed and clear. The film was off. It seemed like everyone had resigned to nap time.
Zoe and I were back to back, curled up in opposite fetal position like spinal fused Siamese twins. I couldn’t remember any specific message from Dr. Rave’s film but I had this clear sense of what Zoe might have meant before … with this being so much bigger than myself. We were part of something not just here and now but almost like something that has been going on for eons, perhaps since the end of time. We represented something, some aspect of the human spirit that continually emerges. The tribes we saw in the film, their customs, are endangered. Even though we risk losing them, and knowledge we might never gain? Somehow part of that was being reborn through us.
With that thought, I felt the needs to sit up. I did my best to not disturb Zoe. This t
Hope Burns Blue"Reach for the stars," they told me,
So I did.
Days and weeks
Passed without event.
I nearly lost hope,
Spica noticed my outstretched arms
And shifted my way.
The Broad RoadThe road is broad, my friend,
and there are many who tread upon it,
deceived by their own lusts,
that their own ways will bring them pleasure,
that their ways are better than God’s.
Many enter in the broad way,
professing that “Jesus is Lord,”
and yet their fruit is rotten to the core,
and the evidence is lacking
that they even know who Jesus is.
Beware that wide gate!
Beware the feel-good gospel
that says God loves you,
but says nothing about your wickedness,
that says nothing of denying yourself,
that says nothing about forsaking your sin
and following Jesus unto death.
The gospel of the devil says nothing about changing your life
and pursuing the righteousness of God,
but it has plenty to say about only living for
this present world,
about how God’s ultimate will for you is to
live a happy life on this planet,
and to be wealthy,
and to be conformed to this world.
To satisfy the desires of your flesh,
and perhaps go to church on Christmas and Easter
to fool yo
False ConceptTime is an illusion
And we make a delusion
As if we know the conclusion
Better than the real resolution
How small we are in this c n u i n
o f s o
Of what lengths of time envision
Much greater than our own observation
Our knowledge is a masked intrusion
Obscure in our own consumption
Time has its sessions
And we are just a provision
In an never ending mission
Art Can Be-Skipping and jumping and hopping
And swimming and dancing and
Art can be
You with friends
And a box of sparklers on a
Warm summer night.
Art can be
The snow that melts
In your hair and the warmth
Of the fire inside during winter.
Art can be
You racing outside with no one
But yourself and whatever you love
Whether you can touch it or not.
Art can be
Words on a page or a scrap of paper
Or a napkin at that one diner that got
Art can be
Little scribbles on the back of a
Test, where you're in school and the
Person next to you is exactly at that
Art can be
You with ten other people
Just dancing around like idiots
Or by yourself practicing that one part
In a complicated routine.
Art can be
Random streaks of color,
Whether it's made by light and clouds
And rain, or by paints or pencils or digital
Art can be
A choir of young children
Or a few friends, no matter the age,
Just hanging out singing old songs in the
Art can be
DesperateYou said, to keep my eyes on You,
that the shifting- the raging seas are not to be feared.
You said that with the faith the size of a mustard seed-
that I can say to the mountains, ‘Be moved,’ and they will be uprooted.
I just need the strength, the courage, the faith to believe.
I gasp, I struggle, I am desperate.
Desperate for the pain to cease.
Desperate for the screaming to end.
Desperate for one touch of healing.
One touch to feel that You are with me.
I fight against chaos and deception,
against an uprooted faith, lingering.
With fists clasped, with a spirit roaring, raving.
I scream into the emptiness, the darkness,
void of belief- laced within this despair.
There is a certain hopelessness that comes
when you lay helplessly in a state of desperation.
It leads you to a revelation that paints new light
to an otherwise deadly situation.
I wish I could say I didn’t reach that point,
that family surrounding me was enough
to encourage a fight ins
SpacetimeFor all the philosophy and questions;
No love, always lost. Loved at last.
One day I will die.
But before that I will live and love.
So therefore, do I enjoy my life as it is now?
Or do I focus on what could lie beyond death?
Or do I do both, or neither?
Remembering the one fact of life: its inevitable end?
Is like a butterfly:
And difficult to capture,
For the short moment
When you cup it in your hands.
Les querelles et les religionsLa religion des querelles.
Querelles de religions ou quand Dieu se mord la queue.
Une religion reproduit dans les fosses
De l’iniquité et de l’intolérable
Un christianisme de l’inquisition.
Ceux-là aussi se disaient des saint-hommes,
Œuvrant pour et au nom de Dieu,
Qui torturaient et brûlaient l’innocent.
Quand une religion se bâtit sur
Une perversion des valeurs morales,
Il n’y a plus dans sa foi de lueur
D’une quelconque spiritualité.
Il est heureux que les prophètes morts
Ne voient pas cette abomination
Que leurs révélations ont suscitée.
Dieu se querelle avec lui-même…
Via ses propres révélations!
Ternie, l’image de Dieu n’est plus
Que cette caricature de lui-même
En bête sans queue ni tête
Déferlant en barbarie sur le monde.
Tout chacun interprète la Parole
Et le débile qui crie le plus fort
De sa Kalachnikov a toujours ra
Touching Hopethe sea roars
our oil rig rave
we dance between oceans,
primordial and cosmic;
both taunting us.
dance harder -
pour more sweat and soul
into those dreams
into those visions
into your future
made in love and protest.
instigated by lasers
i am shot into the sky
trance-ported by an electric eruption
i linger lightly in atmospheric suspension
connected to galactic essence and
a web of patterned light beams
i see my fellow ravers dance below me,
as my head is a geyser of light
kaskading falling surrounding creating
a vortex illuminating our party;
illuminating our deed.
what is this? …
as i hover in the sound field of manifestation-
ah! my hard work tonight has paid off.
i am touching hope.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More